Ade & Jos Adventure day 27: Dicks

Monday morning, up early for breakfast and then off to walk Jo to work.. Monday seems to be a quiet day for street food sellers here in Bangkok, t always seems a little quieter here on a Monday… The roads however are as busy as ever, it’s still hot here despite it being December, it’s still about 28 degrees…. Hot!

Jo got her iced coffee from the little coffee shop, kissed me good bye and wandered off into work… I walked back to the apartment, taking my usual route… Cross over the bridge, cross the road by where all the scooter taxi riders are, walk past the Harley Davidson showroom… Look at bikes i’l never own.. Walk through the car park, say hello to Dude the dog (pretty sure his name isn’t Dude.. But Jo calls him Dude.. SO, Dude he is).. Walk past the the hotels, cross the road of impending death.. Dodge Death a few times… Get back to my apartment…

Always the same journey, but each day throws in a little bit of variety… Bangkok does that… It likes to throw little things at you just to keep you off guard…. It’s the Duck Billed Platypus of the world… Lots of things all thrown together that shouldn’t work… But it does.

I’ve got work to do today, as house husband it’s up to me to keep the apartment clean and tidy…. Todays first job.. Clean the shower cubicle glass…. Shouldn’t be too hard….Famous last words. Why is it that when you clean glass it always looks worse than when you’ve started? How do window cleaners get it right all the time? Is there a secret?.. Note to self.. Google “Window Cleaner Secrets”…..

I do my best with the glass, then sweep through the apartment before giving it a good hoover…

I don’t meet Jo for lunch today as she’s got an induction day at work.. I do meet her after work tho… Footless the beggar is back on the bridge.. He’s quieter today, no grunting and no waving his cup around…. Lets see if he can keep up this good behaviour shall we? Jo leaves work and we head over to Tesco… We need a few things for the apartment (at some point we’ll have everything… it’s just that at the moment little things jump onto the list.. Hey Ade.. Why don’t you have a toilet brush etc ) we wander round Tesco, Christmas music is playing… I have to admit i’m feeling a bit festive… I finally decide on a bookshelf and put it in (flatpack) in the trolley…. We buy a few other bits and pieces and head over to the checkout…. Buy now the Christmas music has swapped over to childrens songs…. London bridge is falling down, sung by children.. I’m guessing Tesco Thailand just have a generic CD with Christmas and childrens songs on it and due to now knowing what exactly is being sung due to the language just go with whatever comes on next…… I wonder if I could sneak a Steel Panther CD on?

Jo tells me we can’t go to the Queen tribute night at the pub on Tuesday as tickets have all sold out… I have a bit of a sulk on. I freely admit I sulked.. I was aware I was sulking.. But as all blokes do (and yes we do know it) when we’ve committed to a sulk, there’s very little we can do about it.. There are times when mid sulk we realise we’re actually being a dick but.. as I say we’ve committed to the sulk, and even tho we know we should be doing something to get out of it.. Or at least make our significant other feel less like she’s walking around with a sulky child.. We have COMMITTED to the sulk. Sulk wins… We may lose our dignity.. But The sulk wins every time. The same rule applies to when we’ve done something, or said something wrong and our wives, girlfriends, whatever have called us on it… We KNOW we’re wrong.. But we’ve committed to our cause.. It’s genetic.. it’s just the way we are… We are dicks.

Anyway…..

Shopping paid for we head out to get a taxi…. Through the mall which by now is full of people… And now another people of Thailand/Bangkok observation.Most people here are lovely, they’re helpful, polite and friendly… But.. There is a very small percentage of Thais who are (I don’t want to say rude here) a bit… erm…. Bugger it.. Rude.

I’ll explain… If say I am walking from point A in a shop to point B… I’ll stand at point A, see point B and begin to walk in it’s direction (with me so far?).. Now, if during my journey to point B, someone crosses my path or is in general in my way, I will walk around that person, or move slightly to allow them to pass (still with me?) this is how I travel from A to B…. Most Thai’s do the same (it’s a system that in my humble opinion works).. However, there are a small number of Thai’s who have there own system… If I (A Thai) am at point A and I wish to get to point B, I will stand at point A, aim myself at point B, walk to point B… And if anyone is in my way I will just ignore them and keep walking in a straight line because after all, I want to get to point B… Sod being polite.. Point B is the place to be.

Most Thai’s are lovely tho… Our taxi driver for example, We don’t speak Thai.. He spoke very little English.. But we managed to get to where we wanted to go and he even taught us how to say our street adrdess in Thai.. A lot of Thai’s have done similar things, trying to help us while here in Bangkok.

Back at the apartment, Jo decides to make a curry… At Tesco she bought a bag of Southern yellow curry paste and some chicken… She’s making the curry and it smells delicious…As always with curry she asks me to try the sauce…. As I said, it smelled delicious.. It tasted even better… But it was like i’d poured acid into my mouth.. Jesus it was SPICY! A quick fix by Jo was to throw more coconut milk into it….As much as we had…. Rice was cooked, Jo had managed to make chips in the halogen cooker, curry was cooked.. Time for dinner!

To say this curry was spicy would be like saying world war II was a bit of a scuffle. It was delicious but actually painful to eat… It burned the tongue.. It burned the roof of the mouth… But in a cruel twist of fate it was one of the most delicious curries i’ve ever had….Jo later confirmed she had put “maybe” a bit too much of the paste in…. Maybe.

After dinner, Jo had a bath and I washed up (domestic goddess me) After which we watched some TV before heading off to bed…. We fly out to a place called Krabbi on Wednesday, so this may be the last blog posted for a few days.. Not even sure if the place has internet.. It does look stunning tho :)

Any way…. Until next time…

Night night

A working-class man from The Black Country, plucked from the factory and now living the best life in Bangkok