Bangkok day 4 : Emotional conkers

Ade & Jo’s adventures day 4

When Jo woke from her slumber we went for a little walk down to our local 7eleven, buying a few bits and pieces and again receiving some confusing 7eleven collection stamps, we had to look online as to what these stamps were for last time we were here, turns out you have to get a stamp card, collect all the stamps and you get some free stuff…. Like a plastic table for a kid… A pencil case.. Or a Hello Kitty backpack (true fact! Hello Kitty is NOT a cat)… Anyway, i’m pretty sure we’ll not be collecting all the stamps, alltho.. A hello kitty backpack would be awesome.

We dropped the shopping (or whatever we bought) up at the room and went down stairs for a couple of drinks and something to eat, Jo had gin (surprise surprise) and I had a couple of glasses of Chang Lager.. then for food.. we couldn’t decide what to get so ended getting a mix of Louisianna style chicken wings (really hot but really tasty) and a lamb masala (surprisingly good actually) there was a couple of tables in the restaurant occupied by two groups of Thai ladies out on a girls night out.. Couldn’t understand a word they were saying but judging by the racket they were making it was HILARIOUS… Food eaten, drinks drunk, off to the room for sleep.

Woke up at 6am Bangkok time… Must have been tired because for the first time in ages I actually slept all the way through the night, jo went for a pre breakfast swim in the hotel pool, I sat in the pool bar area catching up on the worlds events (aka what has Donald Trump been up to today), then off for breakfast.. Discovered the wonder fruit (or the juice of) Guava fruit!

Absolutely delicious and really good for you, Jo googled it as I drank it.. High in loads of vitamins, high in fibre, aids weight loss, aids fertility (no mother don’t get your hopes up), in fact you name it Guava can do it.. Don’t fancy doing the washing up? Ask Guava.. Guava the superfruit does all!

After breakfast/Guava fanboying Me and o set out about on of our more important tasks.. Setting up the playstation on the tv.

Job done. Jo’s a happy girl.

Then of for a walk… About 10 minutes away from where we’re staying (and ten minutes from our actual apartment) is Benchasiri Park, a beautiful park with some gym equipment, a nice pond, a perfect place to sit and ponder life and all it’s mysteries… Made friends with a beautiful (stray?) cat… Jo was convinced she was pregnant (THE CAT NOT JO MOTHER!)… She had some fuss off us then we went on our way exploring.. Or meaningless walking as Jo calls it.

Somehow ended up in the high class shopping Emporium shopping mall (how’d that happen Jo?) had a look around, I loved the Christmas tree in Emporium.. It had StormTroopers and A.T.A.Ts on it (All Terrain Attack Transport for any none Star Wars lovers out there)

Thailand is a Buddhist country, but Thai’s do celebrate Christmas… Just not the whole Jesus being born in a shed stuff, just the fun commercial side of things.. Trees, snow, Santa.. presents…. Which, let’s be honest is pretty much what we do back in England anyway… Pretty sure we’ll not have a white Christmas in Thailand tho…. It being hot and all that.

We left the winter wonderland that is Emporium and got the hotel tuktuk (even tho it’s only a ten minute walk away) back to the hotel.. By now it was raining so we got a taxi up to the tescos to do our first bit of actual Bangkok grown up shopping.

Bangkok Tesco is an odd experience.. It’s quiet… As in quiet… As in Dudley Tesco at 2am when all the weird people do there shopping quiet. Fresh meat isn’t packaged.. Instead it’s all in cooled open containers where you can look through and pick which pieces you want.. This struck me as odd at first, but then I thought about the times when you’ve bought chicken home, opened the plastic wrapping and found the chicken is not safe to eat.. as in stinks. At least this way you can tell it’s fresh before you pay for it.

Jo wants orange squash.. We thought we’d found orange squash… We hadn’t (i’ll explain later).

Shops in Bangkok have an odd way of dealing with the worlds over reliance on plastic bags… By giving you as many bags as they possibly can..”six apples mate? Here… have six bags…. Bugger that, one could break.. Take seven!”… I really should have bought my Aldi bags along with me.

We walked back from shopping, Bangkoks traffic is an absolute nightmare… A ten minute walk would take about an hour by taxi (I just realised almost everything is ten minutes away) carrying the shopping was a pain.. I miss having a car, but no way am I risking driving in Bangkok.. It is mad.

Back to our room and Jo’s decided it’s a sandwich for lunch and a glass of orange squash (remember the orange squash)… Orange syrup to be precise…. If you turn the bottle over it looks like a lava lamp.. It’s that thick and goopy (not sure if goopy is the correct word to use.. but goopy was the best way to describe it).. It’s also apparently pretty much %100 sugar… Safe to say Jo won’t be drinking anymore of it.

After our sandwich…Glass of orange goop, It’s time for a rest.. Before tonights adventure… We’re off to the cinema!

(Some time later)

Well….. That was odd. All will be revealed.

So we went to the cinema, we chose Major Cineplex Sukhumvit.. And as our first film in Thailand? Bohemian Rhapsody of course! W watched it as our last cinema trip in England, as a Queen fan I loved it so it was an easy choice as our first film in Bangkok.

We paid a little extra for our seats..600THB for two seats in the “VIP” area…. Now, some years back we got stung at Merry Hill in Dudley with”premier” seats… Seats that were the same as everyone else they just had the word “premier” written on them. No word of a lie. Totally true.

So being as the tickets were so cheap (£13.97 in English money for both of us) I was expecting to get “stung” again… WRONG! For £13.97 we got a two seater leather sofa with cushions and a nice warm blanket to snuggle in, a perfect unhindered view of the screen and a little table on the arm rest to hold snacks.. Amazing value… Then we get to the film…

Now anyone who’s seen Bohemian Rhapsody (unless you’re an actual film critic) loved it.. As did I.. And again throughout the film i’m loving it all over again… Things got weird for me during the Live Aid sequence.. I’m not an emotional man.. I’m just not… It’s just the way I am.. However, part way through the Live Aid sequence I started tearing up, I’m guessing all the stress of the past few months, the leaving my home, my kids…All that stuff just got on top of me.. So i’m there thinking “Shit..You’re going to cry”.. I get it under control (Clever use of looking away from the screen and thinking about other stuff).. Then BAM! Freddies voice hits one of “those” notes and i’m tearing up again.. For the entire Live Aid bit me and Freddie Mercury are having a game of emotional conkers.. I get control.. BAM he gets me again.. I fight back.. BAM! AYO!… I regain composure… BOOM! We are the champions…. I hold it together but know I have to get out before that lethal blow of a song in the end credits comes on.. So I lean over to Jo who’s snuggled into me “I have to get out before The show must go on”.. “Why?” she asks…. “I just need to get out.. i’m struggling”.. By now “Don’t stop me now” is playing..I know i’m minutes away from that mustachioed gift from God delivering a knockout blow…Jo’s taken her shoes off… SHIT!.. Jo gets cramp which delays her getting her shoes on.. DOUBLE SHIT!.. She gets sorted and I practically run out of the theater…. A quick visit to the gents before we leave the cinema.. The show must go on is in the background…. tears held back, And we make our way to the train station back to the hotel.

I’m typing this as I drink a rather strong Bourbon and coke… Eating a microwave meal….. Regretting never seeing Freddie Mercury live…….

Think I need sleep…. Or a bloody good cry.

Ayo.

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Ade Cox

A working-class man from The Black Country, plucked from the factory and now living the best life in Bangkok