Bangkok: it’s all digital

Ade & Jos Adventure Continues: It’s all digital

It’s Monday…. Bonus there, knowing what day it is…. That makes a difference…. I’m also aware I have a hangover… Not one of those throwing up all over the place hangovers… One of those wooly head and headache hanging in the background hangovers…..Yuk.

Anyway.. Life must go on…. I wake up before Jo and quietly creep into the living room, our bedroom is cold due to Jo being addicted to putting the air conditioning on.. The living room however is a toasty little oven… I type up my blog (turns out not quite as long as I thought it would be)… (I also realised this morning that I totally forgot to put the bit in the blog about the 5ft water monitor lizard walking around outside our accommodation while in Krabbi)… Jo wanders into the living room just as i’m finishing up the blog, no work for Jo today as it’s bank holiday here in Bangkok, we’re planning on heading off ino the city today to pick up a new shower head (the rain shower head in the apartment looks like it’s seen better days)… Jo orders McDonalds breakfast to be delivered.. We argue about who will go down to reception to pick it up, I say i’m not doing it.. Jo says she won’t do it because the lift hates her (One of the lifts at our apartment block refuses to work for Jo…. It’s doors will open but when she presses the button to come up to our floor it refuses to respond to her… I must report it to maintenance at some point)… Anyway, I win.. Jo goes down to collect breakfast.

I’m flicking through the television channels and come across a film that had kept popping up on SKY movies back in England.. A film that i’d not been interested in seeing due to the fact i’d never seen it advertised when it (if it ever) was in the cinema.. And the story looked rubbish… Anyway, it’s just started on TV here..SO as you do, I started watching it….Oh yeah, it’s a comedy film called “Keanu” about a cat that gets stolen by gangsters… Yeah sounds crap doesn’t it?…. So.. Five minutes in and i’m totally engrossed in this film.. Actually, i’m loving this film… Jo appears with breakfast… She’s been gone ages so I feel it my duty to fill her in on what’s been going on in this cinematic master piece…. To cut a long story short, our trip into the city was delayed by us both being drawn in by this Kitten who’d been stolen by gangsters…. “KEANU”.. It’s a bit weird but yeah.. Watch it.

We eventually head into the city, we’re trying out our new trolley today, we bought it at Ikea when we visited there, it hopefully should make getting shopping back to the apartment a little easier… The BTS into Chit Lom to find a store that sells Shower heads, ended up replacing both the rain shower and the normal shower head… And then we headed to Central World (Mall) to wander round and get some lunch.. Stopping enroute by a bar called Beer Republic….. Two Pints of Guinness for me, two pints of Boddingtons (Well one and half as I had to finish Jos beer off) and a spicy sausage later we carry on with our journey…. Central world is HUGE…. It’s a mid range mall so it has high end shops and “normal” shops too… Lots of food options and a really cool looking cinema.. It also houses the GMM Livehouse music venue where we’ll be seeing Slash and Myles Kennedy in January (Can’t wait!)… It’s really busy here today.. Lots of people shopping… Too many people just walking around… Way too many people walking around with mobile phones taking pointless pictures of themselves.

There’s a definite attitude difference here today.. People just seem to be rather inconsiderate and rude today… It’s like being back in England. We go to the True mobile phone stall to try to get my mobile phone contract sorted, the girl that works there comes across as disinterested and rude… I don’t like her… Jo asks what documentation we need for a contract… She replies Passport and work permit.. Jo tells her she has a work permit, she holds out her phone with her electronic permit on it (It’s all she was given , it’s all digital now)..

“Need paper permit” Barks the girl

“This is all I was given” says Jo

“NEED paper permit”

“It’s all digital”

“NEED PAPER permit”

Jo is keeping her cool.. Which is just not like her… I on the other hand have had enough of the girls attitude..

Jo decides to go elsewhere at another time.. She sarcastically says thank you to the girl and walks away.. I on the other hand (and I must say completely out of character) turn to the girl and say “Personally i’d have just told her to FUCK OFF”

“Bloody hell I was a bit bolshy there” I say

“Must be the Guinness” laughs Jo

“I’ll end up going back when i’m sober and apologise for my behaviour”..

For the record… I didn’t.

Central world is packed… Too many people.. Too many mobile phone zombies taking selfies….. We have lunch at an all you can eat buffet place and head over the road to “The Big C” to do our proper shopping.

The big C was hell. Apart from the sheer comedy of finding a dish washing sponge that looked like a vagina… It was hell. Too busy… Too many people… Why oh why do people feel the need to take selfies everywhere? It’s infuriating.. And stupid… Bloody hell girls (this is aimed specifically at the group of giggling Japanese girls taking a particular group photo) Have you never seen an escalator before? Did it really warrant a group photo?

Shopping (eventually) done we exit… The trolley is full (and heavy).. Our other shopping bags are full.. I have the trolley and one bag, Jo has two bags… Team work! We make our way out of Big C and walk through a mall to get to the BTS station… A “nice” Chinese man has taken it upon himself to bring his entire family along for a day at the mall… He’s also decided they will all go down to another level by using the escalator (no issues there)… He has however decided they all must travel together… This arrogant little prick (yes i’m losing faith in all humanity by now) actually blocked the path of a European looking man carrying a Christmas tree, He even shouted “NO!” at his as he tried to get on just so all of his family had exclusive access to the escalator.. Luckily I was dragging the trolley along and was held back by the flow of general human traffic, but I saw the whole thing… What exactly is wrong with people?

We eventually get to the BTS.. It’s hot.. the bags are heavy.. Both Me and Jo are not feeling very festive… A train pulls in, it’s full so we wait for the second train…We’re at the front of the queue… A line of people stand behind us…Then we notice a young girl appear at my side.. She’s bypassed the entire queue and is easing her self into position to jump on the train ahead of everyone else.. RUDE!.. And Stupid… Has she seen the big black trolley I have at my side? Is she planning on jumping over it to get on the train a few precious seconds before everyone else?.. The train arrives.. The system here is, people get off… People get on.. Simple!… However, today.. Train arrives.. Door opens.. People start to exit… Stupid girl makes her move… And fails. Victory!

We end up getting on the train with our bags and the trolley… Getting off the train was fun… Lots of pushing a and shoving… Not feeling festive at all.

The walk back to our apartment block was horrible. Too hot. Too many people. And the paths of Bangkok are not designed for anything with wheels… God help any wheelchair users here… It’s bloody awful. By the time I get back to the apartment i’m a sweaty angry mess.

We put our shopping away and I fit the new shower heads…. The showers now feel twice as powerful as before.. Awesome! Jo decides to go for a foot massage while I have some Playstation time… A few messages from Jo while she’s out and it’s clear she’s going for a full body massage too… So more Playstation time for me… And a nice phone call with my son back in in England.

Jo returns and tells me about her massage.. Both foot and full body oil massage (in the nude apparently and done by a lady boy…… She hasn’t said she paid for extras…..And i’m too much of a gentleman to ask… Nah she’d tell me…. I think )

Jo calls her Mom… Then off to bed.. She’s back at work tomorrow… And i’ve got a bee in my bonnet about replacing the shower head in the guest shower room….

Night night.

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A working-class man from The Black Country, plucked from the factory and now living the best life in Bangkok

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Ade Cox

A working-class man from The Black Country, plucked from the factory and now living the best life in Bangkok